It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just high enough for therapy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
