Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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