so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
