Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
