Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
