We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
