I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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