You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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