I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
