If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
