Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have fence marks all over my body
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
