I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
id be glad to
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
