just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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