She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
