So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want to make out with him forever
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
