Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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