we have pet lesbian snakes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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