He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
