marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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