She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
