Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
