Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
