He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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