i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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