haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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