hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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