I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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