Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
