I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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