You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Actions speak louder than pants.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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