So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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