3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
