apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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