I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
