The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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