Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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