if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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