So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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