So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
