I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
