This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
