Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
