I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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