We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
