im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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