He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
