if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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