please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
