That's when you crack a 10am beer
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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