so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
