She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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