That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can I color on your dick again?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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