I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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