Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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